Hi Bambi
Do you ever get over to Vancouver?

She's 43 and left the stripping business 30 years ago. At 13?

Now Budd...the past is the past..what's important here is Bambi's present needs. I've developed a system that combines a variety of body work techniques with methods to enhance complete sexual satiation. Just the thing a determined mayoralty candidate like Bambi needs to relieve the stress of an election campaign.
In my quest to support those who are willing to devote their time and energy to the community I am willing to offer my services to Bambi gratis.

Um, where's Colwood?

Name
I won't have you showing contempt here for Bambi's home town. Shame.I've got a pot of boiling oil with your Name on it.

Colwood is a suburb of Victoria and is home to the beautiful Royal Colwood Golf Course, the magnificent Hatley Castle and the stunning Bambi Fernando.

That's disappointing, Sleeps.

I was having weird visions of Bambi, Rich Coleman and Randy White ruling as a sort of freakish triumverate from some deep suburb of Deep Langley and where that might possibly lead if they ever emerged to challenge Mayencourt, Sam & Jamie Lee to something...

That tableau brings to mind visions of industrial sized drums of lube, a team of one armed bearded midget pole vaulters, Saran wrap, Bruce LaBruce with a night vision video cam,Marlene Deitrich, Hitler's inner circle and Kids in the Hall all locked in a dark room padded with matresses and water bottles full of Viagra and MDA spiked tequilla.

I don't know anything about Bambi, I've never met her, but this is boring reporting. Why do we care about her personal life, especially if it's in her past. Yep, it's cause she's a woman!

So many times the personal lives of men are overlooked by the media in their public lives but when it's a woman I guess it makes good news?

OK, OK, I admit it. I used to be a stripper, too (or exotic entertainer, as we prefer to be called). Perhaps the crowning moment of my dancing career occurred 25 years ago at Budd's 90th birthday party when he stuffed $1500 and a set of false teeth into the basket of my dance belt and then had to be revived with a de-fibrillator. I have since changed careers to something less threatening to the health and well-being of distinguished elder statesmen. Nowadays I just get his dander up by challenging NDP apparatchik orthodoxy on out-of-the-way political websites, even though it could bring down the Liberal Party.

That's the one funny part, Steve. Your stuff could indeed be damaging to the Liberal Party.

In one sense your material is a bit of a joke, but in another sense, viewed against the backdrop of chronic Liberal Arrogance, it kind of loses its humour value but gains something in terms of serious insight into the risk and menace that voting Liberal represents.

Budd:

Voting "Liberal" - if you are referring to the federal party - has benefitted Canadians with the best country in the world in which to live.

I know all you New Democrats and Tories believe that Canada is a wonderful country in spite of the fact the the Liberal Party has held power for much of the last 100 years, but that's a bit of a stretch.

If you want to see what a country looks like under a truly Conservative government and their every-person-for-themselves political philosophy, look no furthewr than south of the border. If you want to see what a country looks like under an NDP government, I'm not sure where you should like - since European left-wing parties (at least the ones that attain power) have all modernised.

Europe is a very nice place...

Steve

There's a gay bar mitzvah I'd like you to dance at. It's a multicultural, pansexual freak fest that is open to all brave enough to enter the greeting gauntlet of blindfolded, Cialis pumped, nude storm troopers. Your ability to handle large amounts of cash and dentures in your "basket" has been noted and every freak in cyberspace from Hope to Hellsinki wants a piece of you. Some folks have all the fun.

Dear I'moff : Thanks for the offer of a gig, but that's all behind me now, as we retired epidydiasts say.

I know, Budd, I know. It should be "ecdysiasts".

That's very sad news Steve...maybe your young friend Budd could fill in for you.

I'moff thinks maybe Budd could dance in my place. Now I'd pay to see that. Talk about two Left feet.

Have you ever worked in the drywall industry?

I have wondering where you have been all this time, would be nice chatting with you again.

I've never heard of Colwood.