Canadian elections are more ritualized than the Greek Orthodox Church. Signs go up and signs go down. Stump speeches are delivered, but never listened to - just like sermons. But what if Canadian elections were run like an episode of Trading Spaces, the popular home decorating competition on TLC? In Saanich-Gulf Islands the clear loser in that competition would be federal Liberal candidate and Victoria lawyer David Mulroney.

His campaign office is secreted away on the second floor of an office building - not the best place to attract walk-in volunteers. But bad location isn't Mr. Mulroney's only problem. The candidate selection process in Saanich-Gulf Islands was extremely divisive.

Party rules were changed so Mr. Mulroney, provincial campaign manager Mark Marissen's favoured candidate, could enter that race three days before the nomination meeting - defeating rival Bob Russell, who had been campaigning for the position since August. That's meant some longtime Liberals in Saanich-Gulf Islands won't volunteer for Mr. Mulroney, 55, something the candidate denies.

And constituency association sources say that resentment has even caused fundraising problems, although those seem to have been worked out since the election was called.

The Liberals' campaign bank account now sits at between $25,000 and $30,000. The man managing that bank account, and Mulroney's campaign, is Jamie Elmhirst, the smoothest and most competent political operator to graduate from the University of Victoria's Young Liberal campus club.

Mr. Elmhirst, who has worked as an aide to both Premier Gordon Campbell and Victoria MP David Anderson, doesn't plan on spending much of that money on broadcast advertising to convert undecided voters.

Instead, he'll be running a nuts and bolts campaign to identify existing supporters and get them out to the polls. After all, the Liberals won 32.3 percent of the vote in the last election. And that's just as well because, when I asked Mr. Mulroney how he was going to beat incumbent Conservative Gary Lunn, he told me he would "run on (his) record." That's a fine answer if you're a second- or third-term MP with a long history of community service.

But Mulroney's resume, which includes worthy pursuits such as volunteering for the Royal British Columbia Museum and being a devoted father of four, isn't a guaranteed vote-winner - although the Liberals' provincial campaign headquarters has identified him as one of the candidates it wants to see more of in the media.

But that's risky because Mr. Mulroney already has a political mark against him. Back in 1995, the Reform party made allegations Mr. Mulroney was being awarded federal legal work because of his Liberal connections, a charge he has always denied. Since fiscal 1996/97, Mr. Mulroney's law firm has received $5.3 million in contracts from Ottawa.

Mr. Mulroney is competing with New Democrat candidate Jennifer Burgis, 58, to unseat Lunn. Ms. Burgis, a former ministerial assistant to provincial cabinet minister Paul Ramsey and West Kootenay municipal councillor, is the hands-down winner when it comes to campaign office location and overall decor. She has taken over an abandoned corner grocery store on Quadra Street between McKenzie and the Pat Bay Highway.

That store came equipped with an illuminated sign (which now advertises Burgis' candidacy) and kitschy but comfortable furniture from the '60s - exactly where you'd expect to find someone who drives around in a pickup she calls the "toothpaste truck" because it has a squiggly blue racing line. But Ms. Burgis, who is always wearing a button that reads "I am woman, see me vote," will need more than girl power and a cool crib to win Saanich-Gulf Islands.

That riding has consistently voted conservative, especially in the north. New Democrat campaigners hope the recent election of a more moderate local council in Central Saanich may mean the constituency is moving leftward. And if Ms. Burgis can attract enough of that support, she might be able to sneak between the Liberals and Conservatives and win - much like New Democrat MP Lynn Hunter did back in 1988.

Ms. Burgis' communications adviser and former legislative co-worker Dwaine Martin, armed with a $40,000 campaign war chest, will also be softening up Lunn's support with a series of radio advertisements next week attacking the incumbent for allegedly supporting private health-care solutions, tax cuts, the American "Star Wars" anti-missile defence system and the war against Iraq.

But since many of Mr. Lunn's voters tend to agree with at least some of those policies, I'm not sure how effective those advertisements will be. A better strategy might be to attack Mr. Mulroney, hoping Liberals in that riding will support the New Democrats, who grabbed just eight per cent of the vote during the last election -- largely because of an unpopular provincial NDP government.

That unpopularity could explain why, in 2001, Green party candidate Andrew Lewis received 25.4 per cent of the vote in the provincial riding of Saanich North and the Islands, which shares some of the same boundaries as Saanich-Gulf Islands. But there's always a chance those results were something more than a protest vote.

And that means Mr. Lewis, a 41-year-old social justice activist and landscaper who is now trying his hand at federal politics, could spoil the New Democrat's election chances.

Still, has Mr. Lunn done anything that would make Saanich-Gulf Islands residents actually want to kick him out in favour of Ms. Burgis, Mr. Mulroney or Mr. Lewis? And thanks to a national Conservative campaign that has yet to make a serious snafu, I've got to think the chances of an upset in that riding aren't great - even if Mr. Lunn only has the second-best campaign headquarters in Saanich-Gulf Islands (an antiseptic corner office in the middle of the Save-On-Foods strip mall near Wal-Mart).